I was helping. I was supporting. I was involved and caring. And, I was verbally and emotionally smacked for it. The liver responded by pouring a chemical composition into my blood stream. I expected to feel anger. But my blood did not boil. I did not reach anger but instead, I removed emotional bonds. I stopped caring about what happens to this person.
This is a new way to protect myself from actual abuse. The total lack of appreciation is clear. It doesn’t injure me to cut off my loving-kindness interest. Actually, I’m free from being in a place where more abuse will eventually appear.
This is about EoL* fantasies on this person’s horizon as if EoL* has never been around until now. Pushing care away may be a natural behavior for those with a terminal diagnosis which this person does not have. This person is pretending that he does and behaves as if he does. He has faced extreme medical issues without this mind set appearing.
The space for me is detachment from the make believe-ness of the situation. Being unkind to me is always an error. If there is something truly helpful I can do, this person can ask. Otherwise, I will leave him to his self-created agony and despair. Should he stumble, then he will fall.
There are more beings out there creating suffering for themselves and trying to infect others.